The Strange First Day of 2017

Of all the New Years’ Days I’ve experienced, today is one of the strangest. It began with my mother in law, who is staying with us, asking me a question. She asked me if I could remember the woman, whose name she had forgotten, who had moved from Bank Street to the new flats. My mother in law lives 30 miles from us, so I do not know where Bank Street is, I do not remember the woman and I have no idea where the new flats are. But, in answer to her question, I simply replied, yes. This was of course a lie. To have said no, would have felt too abrupt, too brusque, rude even. My mother in law continued on with her story about the woman and the new flats and to every question I replied yes.

Next, I headed off in my car to pick up my 93 year old mother. Over the course of the last few years, she has developed a shuffling walk while simultaneously rocking from side to side. As a younger woman she was one of the speediest walkers I’ve ever known. We were to visit my aunt, my mum’s sister who has Alzheimer’s and is in an Elderly Mentally Infirm home. On arrival my aunt appeared quite cheerful. A carer brought us 2 chairs and we sat down. My aunt asked after her mother, and she asked after her younger sister, Jean. I said both were fine. The truth is that her mum, my grandmother has been dead 50 years and Jean, my aunt, her sister, has been dead for 30 years.

Sitting near us was a woman in a white jumper, staring straight ahead of her and talking. My assumption was that she was just talking to herself, as many in the home do. Something made me turn to look at the woman opposite the woman wearing the white jumper and her expression shocked me. She seemed very distressed. I turned again to look at the woman who I had thought was just talking to herself. I listened hard to discover what she was actually saying. It was this. ‘You are so ugly. I’ve never seen anyone as ugly as you. I can’t stand to look at you. I’ll have to cover my face, so that I can’t see you. You’re so ugly.’

This had to stop. I said to white jumper woman, ‘Excuse me, but could you please stop saying that?’

‘Why.’ She asked. ‘Because it’s rude and you’re upsetting the lady opposite.’ But she carried on and so I alerted a staff member who removed the offender and gave the one who had been insulted a great big new year hug.

As this little cameo was being played out, another woman was shouting out that she was hungry. ‘Can someone give me something to eat, please. I’ve been here for days and all they’ve given me is a tablet. I’ve had nothing.’ The staff began, patiently at first, to explain that she had had lots of meals and that soon, in 20 minutes, in fact, she would be tucking into her dinner. She continued to tell all and sundry that she had had no food and that she was ‘starving hungry’ and that all she had been given for days was a tablet. She was now going to report them if she didn’t have meat, potatoes and greens today. She did not say to whom she was going to report them.

My aunt wanted to go to the toilet, so I took her there. I usually wait for her outside so that I can take her back to her seat. As I waited, another resident needed the toilet. I told her that my aunt was in there. ‘How long’s she been in? How long will she be? For crying out loud!’ She then pushed open the door. ‘Jesus Christ! What’s she doing in there? Having a baby?’ Fortunately, a staff member led the impatient woman to another toilet.

I kissed my aunt, said I’d see her soon and my mum and I left. I dropped her off home and arrived back to my house where we were all set to go the cinema, though which film we were to see was undecided. A polite argument broke out, but soon a decision was taken – Collateral Beauty. I have never seen such abject trash in my life, despite the fact that Will Smith, Helen Mirren and Keira Knightley are in the cast. Pleased to say I nodded off for a short while.

My mother in law is still here. She leaves tomorrow. She is not an easy woman. I have known her for 30 years and she always asks if I want a cup of tea. I have never drunk tea. I cannot stand the smell of it or the look of it mixed with milk. Tonight, I was questioned intensely as to why I didn’t drink tea. The answer, because I don’t like it, was not sufficient. She thrust her tea at my face and said that I should have a sip. Quite politely, I refused. Asked a second time to have a sip, I turned the offer down, quite impolitely. Why do people do that? Or do they? Is it just my mother in law?

It’s been a long evening but its nearly over. One amusing aspect of the evening though was that my mother in law fancies herself as a dog trainer, I discovered, and has spent the evening barking (haha) instructions at my dog, who has completely ignored her. Deeply satisfying.

A 100 years from now?

Last week I went to Manchester for the day to see my son, Daniel. I was early so walked slowly towards our meeting place, just past The Arndale Centre. Some call it The Triangle, which is about right, given the shape of the area. It was a warm and sunny day - one of the few that I've spent in Manchester when it hasn't rained.



Looking round the packed area, I could not prevent the morbid reflections entering my head. My first thought was - what if there's a bomb? The area is a prime target for so-called Islamic State. Fighting to rid my mind of these possible horrors, I looked around some more. Selfridges, Harvey Nicholls and a huge Next are unmissable - dominating the area. It's a Wednesday lunchtime in summer and yet there are plenty of customers exiting these stores with huge carrier bags. There's money somewhere -  for some. Either that or there's debt. It struck me - what did the British do before shopping? Shops crammed with stuff that many people want but which none of us really need.



Of course most people who were seated in the area, whether alone or with others, were looking at their phones.

Also in the area were plenty of eateries: Sinclair's Oyster Bar, Zizzi, Banyon bar and kitchen, Wahaco, Burrito Bar, Wagamama, Vapiano, Pizza Express, Chiquito, Harvester, Tampopo - Fresh Eastern cooking. The range is dazzling and makes for so much variety. As a student at Manchester University in the 1980s, the choice in eating out was much more limited, which didn't really bother me personally, as I wouldn't have been able to afford it. That said, in those days students were privileged compared to students now, as we had all our tuition fees paid by the Local Authority and I also received a full grant each term as my parents were not well off.



Apart from the Corn Exchange building and an old church down a little side street there was nothing to suggest that the people of a century ago would have walked here. Horses and carriages, some cars now too, long black clothing for women and hats for everyone. Also, a 100 years ago,  raging in France was the Battle of the Somme, in which on a bright sunny day, July 1st 1916, thousands of British young men went over the top of their trenches and were immediately gunned down.



I wondered then, what this densely populated area of one of our major cities will be like in another 100 years. Except maybe for the babies and toddlers in the area, the harsh fact is that all of us will be dead.



What would the people be wearing? What will happen to major names, such as Next, Selfridges and Harvey Nicholls? And the places to eat and drink? What would they be like or would the whole area have changed completely? I wasn't able to ponder these thoughts much more, as I spotted my smiling, waving, 25 year old son walking towards me.

So you think you've got friends? Well, think again.

I've always been interested in friendships and until I read an article recently in The Times newspaper, believed myself to be fortunate in having a good many friends. I'm still in touch with one friend from primary school. As for secondary school, a girls grammar, I went away last November for a weekend with three friends form those days. I also see a friend about four times a year who lives locally and was at my grammar school. University, Manchester by the way, provided me with three of the best friends I ever had. We're meeting at the upcoming Bank Holiday and after our meetings, I always experience a lift, an improvement in outlook and a wish to see them again as soon as we can arrange it.

Through my children's schools I met some people with whom I'm still in touch and through many years of work I have maintained contact with several people. Others, who I have met through my job, I have been very pleased not to have to deal with any more at  all.

However, to return to the article, my faith in friendships has taken a bit of a hit. According to the article, half of our friends don't really like us. To prove this, some kind of complicated experiment and a further complicated survey, have been completed. The results are in and only in 53% of cases do the results coincide. So those who thought with absolute certainty that they were close friends with someone, discovered that in 53% of those named close friends, that degree of friendship was considered to be inaccurate. The names of the people in the experiment were not revealed to the participants - wisely.

So then, should we doubt what we thought were rock solid friendships? It certainly has given me pause for thought. Someone who I got to know recently is forever telling me how wonderful it would be to meet up. This has been going on for months. If I make a suggestion, nailing down a day and time when I am available to meet, I receive a message in response along the lines of not being sure, work being erratic, parents might be coming, they might be going away, the decorators are coming in, but not sure when. And on and on it goes. I'm done. I've made three attempts to organise a meeting and it is now down to the other person. I'm not too worried about this. These things happen. I never considered this person a friend, at least not yet, never mind a close friend.

Now, after having read the article, when I see those who I consider to be good or even close friends, I may well scrutinise what they are saying, study their facial expressions and observe their body language. I wonder if they will notice that I'm doing this and if so, will they ask me what on earth I'm doing? That would be awkward. Will I explain that I'm checking on them for real, true friendship? No. I'll probably just deny it, ask them what they're talking about and then try to behave normally.

Perhaps there will be no need to go through all this. And that is because you know in your heart who a true friend is, one who will defend you, even when you're not there to witness it. Don't you?

What must it be like to be Theresa May?

First of all, I'd like to say that I like her and I welcome her appointment as Prime Minister  She has just made a striking statement of bold intent with a strong emphasis on social justice. She spoke of how if you're black, you are treated more harshly by the criminal justice system. She mentioned that if you're a white working class boy, you are much less likely to go to university than anyone else in the country. She relayed how if you are poor you will, on average, die almost a decade before those who are wealthy. 

As Laura Kuensberg, BBC political editor herself said, May's words were more reminiscent of  another political party - The Labour Party, of which I am a member. (Sort yourselves out, comrades!)

The last two and a half weeks have been dramatic in political terms: the EU referendum, the challenge to the Labour Party Leadership, the resignation of David Cameron, the stepping down of Angela Leadsom. the surprise disappearance of Boris Johnson because of the shocking back stabbing by Michael Gove of Boris Johnson. What price loyalty?

So what must it be like to be Theresa May right now? And what must it be like to be her husband, Philip? Theresa first - my question is, how does she feel about it all? I have no doubt that she is fully capable of being Prime Minister, but she must feel a degree of excitement, but perhaps also she is feeling overwhelmed. She has the top job in Britain. Being Home Secretary for six years is impressive on anyone's CV. But the job of  PM has no superior. Has she wanted this job for a while? Was she watching and waiting? When the chance came, did she think she could triumph against Boris Johnson, who, up until very recently, was the favourite to succeed Cameron? How could she have foretold the events of the leadership race? And if Andrea Leadsom had not made her ignorant and insensitive comment about Theresa May not having children and therefore  not having a stake in the future, Theresa's appointment may not have happened.

 The speed of her move from one job to another has also been dramatic. As far as I can see, she is managing it all with calm and good grace. What she is saying to her husband in private may well be very  different.

Just a word about David Cameron, who left office before he was really ready. He was confident that the nation would vote to remain in the EU, but, that people voted to leave, may be a sign of how out of touch Cameron was.

As he left Downing Street, just as Gordon Brown before him, 'nothing in his life became him like the leaving of it.' * We saw both David Cameron and Gordon Brown, with their wives and children, appearing relaxed and possibly a little relieved. But more than anything, they appeared fallible and decidedly human.

*from Macbeth

Tony Blair - a Broken Man?

Tony Blair told the truth. There was no attempt to deceive. 'Please stop saying that I lied.' He asked of his audience and of the nation as he faced reporters today.

Finally, after seven long years, the Chilcot report has been published. It is unforgiving in its criticism of decisions made and actions taken, but it categorically states that Tony Blair, the Prime Minister, the winner of three consecutive election victories for Labour, something no other Labour Prime Minister has ever achieved, did not lie.

I am really pleased that Sir John Chilcot found Blair not to have lied. Ever since the accusation that Blair was lying in order to secure military action against Iraq, I have never believed it. Yes, in my view, the invasion was a mistake, but hindsight is a glorious thing. It saddens me that so many Labour supporters chose to believe that Blair was lying and that they were so quick to sneer and condemn. Why were they so willing to believe he lied? Was it that they were eager to believe he lied because that way further ignominy would rain on Blair's head? I think that was the case. Damn him and damn him again. He was their quarry and they would take him down. An unpleasant trait of human nature if ever there was one.

In May 1997, Tony Blair was elected Prime Minister after eighteen long years of Tory governments. Neil Kinnock nearly did it in 1992, but we had to wait five long years before Blair finally did it for Labour. I was absolutely delighted. He grasped the nettle and changes for the better were effected in health and education. Who can forget Blair's, 'My three main priorities for government are education, education, education?'

It is undeniable that Blair did good work. This must not be forgotten. But sadly, I believe that it will be and that Blair will be remembered for his ill-conceived invasion of Iraq. 'Shock and awe' filled our screens as Iraq was hit in such dramatic and monstrous fashion. Did anyone else feel that this show of military might was just too much and that humility was sadly lacking? Should humility have been a part of it though? Was the aim not just to finish off Saddam Hussein and his torturing sons once and for all? Or should the civilians, who were undoubtedly killed, have been given greater consideration? Of course, history will be the judge of that as it will be the judge of us all, including Tony Blair. As he said, 'I express more regret and sorrow than you can believe.' And, 'There will not be a day in my life when I do not relive and rethink what happened.'

Today, Tony Blair appeared as a broken man. In such nerve shattering circumstances, all Tony Blair's wealth, for which he has been roundly criticised, is of no help at all. From this, money is no saviour. 

What was particularly striking was the fact that Blair was more than generous in the number of questions he allowed, some of which were harsh and probing. Admirably, Blair never faltered. He gave the truth, his truth and that is all any of us can ever do. 




 

Post Referendum Reflections

This last fortnight has seen  the greatest political  upheaval of perhaps the last half century. The referendum dominated politics for weeks before it took place and it was as if there was no other news apart from  the  latest on the shenanigans of the Leave or the Remain side.

But now - what a mess! The Tories are voting in a new leader, a new Prime Minister, in fact and at the moment it looks as if either Theresa May or Andrea Leadsom will be that new Prime Minister. That all seems quite straightforward, especially in comparison to the hideous behaviour of some Tories.

Boris Johnson, ex-mayor of London, bagged himself a safe Tory seat last year. Then he launched his bid to become Prime Minister, which had always been his ambition. When Boris emerged as lead Leave campaigner, some say that he was going against his natural inclination. Up until this point it seems that Boris was wholly for remaining in the EU. In order to become Prime Minister though, he had to unseat Cameron, which he succeeded in doing by fronting the Leave campaign and leading the campaign to victory. And then, in a move straight from Shakespearian drama,  Michael Gove, the good friend of Boris for two decades, raised his dagger and stabbed Boris in the back. All of a sudden, Michael Gove, who had stood with Boris throughout the Leave campaign, had decided that Boris was not good enough to be PM. Naturally, he made a fuss, talking about how hard he had thought abourt his decision to stand, but I am most certain that Gove, despite his public denials, was encouraged by his wife, Sarah Vine, to stand. It pleases me that it seems most unlikely that Michael Gove will be Prime Minister. After all, who could trust such a man?

The Labour Party has considerable problems too. Today, Jeremy Corbyn has turned to social media to plead with Labour Party members to 'Come together.' By that I believe he means to stop the attempt to depose him and have a leadership contest. People say that Jeremy Corbyn cannot win a General Election and that he was too feeble in his support for the Remain campaign. As many as 25 MPs have resigned their posts in the shadow cabinet. In a vote of no confidence there are 170 memebrs against him and just forty for him. Ironically, people, especially young people, are joining the party in droves to support him, in the event of a leadership challenge, which he will more than likely win - again.


Of course, those MPs who say that  they believe Corbyn cannot win an election may have forgotten that Neil Kinnock, Gordon Brown and Ed Miliband did not win an election either. Tony Blair did win - three consecutive elections, as it happens, yet everyone hates him. Such short memories.

And then there are the demonsrations to stay in the EU by people who cannot accept the democratic vote. Yes it was close and yes, I did vote to remain, but the result was clear. That said, it may well be the case that in the end we do not leave, as a referendum is not legally binding. However, imagine the anger. There would be some quite intense demonstrations and protests if Parliament did decide that it was not in the national interest to leave the EU, and in fact we did not leave.

It seems that at this juncture there is much more to come and as yet, there is no fat lady anywhere that is even contemplating bursting into song.

Where are the Leave Campaign? Left Already?

Have they left? Who? The Leave Campaign of course. There was a time, up until last Wednesday in fact, when you couldn't switch on the television without having to gaze at Michael Gove,  Boris Johnson or Priti Patel. But now, they seem to have gone to ground. So where are they? Are they all holed up somewhere, panicking, hyperventilating and saying things like. 'OMG! What have we done? Half the country hates us and thinks we are small-minded idiots. Better get on with it. Hang on though, what did we say we'd do?'

A friend of mine, very politically aware and once a Labour MP before he was kicked out by a Lib Dem over the Iraq war, has actually said that we may never actually leave the EU. He told me that it would take at least 2.25 years for us to cut all ties and that within that time so much may have changed in the EU that another referendum will be activated. Pipe Dream? Maybe, but at the moment I am willing to believe anything that gets us back to where we were on Wednesday.

I honestly thought that Remain would win and even Nigel Farage, on referendum night said that he thought that Remain 'had edged it.' I confess to being surprised, shocked even at thye result and yet I do not believe that the EU is perfect - far from it, especially with the 12 unelected decision makers at the helm and the money that seems to leak away from what some call the 'last gravy train'.

Even the most passionate Remain supporters will accept that the EU is not flawless, but by being a part of it we could, maybe, have influenced decisions.

What the politicians must now turn their attention to are those people who used the opportunity to spit at the government, the Labour Party and the whole of the Westminster elite. They have been fobbed off for too long while their  towns and cities have changed fundamentally. Yes, of course, immigration is a good thing, for all the reasons that have been repeatedly repeated. For some of the indigenous people though, immigration has been too numerous and too swift. It needs managing and a sense of fairness needs to be seen to be applied to all. Places in the North West; Bury, Bolton, Preston. Blackburn - the indigenous population there do not feel that 'immigration is a wonderful thing' - they just feel pushed out and forgotten.

So when you feel pushed around, bullied even, the chance to bite back is irresistible. The Leave vote won out, not because people wanted to leave the EU, but because they wanted to punish those who they felt, have punished them.

As a Labour Party member, I have to confess to being sick of the internal divisions, the self-indulgence of infighting, the vanity of MPs who think that they have a right to form little cliques and to sneer at he leadership. ALL the Labour Party should be should be thinking of those people who rely on them for fairness and justice: the poor, the dispossessed, the asylum seekers, the old, those who want to find a better life, the unemployed, those recently out of prison and those who need a step up. We can't look to the Tories for sympathy. Despite their phrase of 'compassionate conservatism' no one is fooled.

So reach out Labour, as the Four Tops instructed and look after YOUR people.