To adopt a child...

Rigorous assessments are in place for anyone who wishes to adopt a child and rightly so. Every single aspect of a person's life is under investigation, including the relationship they have with their partner, who will be the other adopter. Questions of an intensely personal nature are asked and used in
a bid to discover whether or not a person is suitable to adopt a child.

In addition every member of the extended family has to be assessed too. Clearly, this has to be done because the likelihood is that close relatives will be asked to babysit and will probably have contact with the child at Christmas and other family occasions.

All this is right and necessary. I never thought I would feel like this but my brother, who is a foster father, has had involvement with children who have had truly dreadful beginnings. It seems undeniable  that children are scarred by this pitifully poor start in life. Some, incredibly, do thrive despite their early experiences, though in later years, neglect, abuse and an absence of love can and sometimes will, turn to anger, which may result in violence.

Many of these children, when they are born are not looked after properly, are sometimes not really wanted and almost always do not get what should be every child'd right, the all encompassing love of a mother or a father, preferably both, or the love of a same sex couple - it really doesn't matter -  as long as the child is loved.

Anyone, anyone at all can have a child as long as they are not in prison. Anyone can produce a child and neglect him/her or abuse the child. This strikes me as outrageous. But what can we do? Is it possible or even desirable to limit people or prevent them from having children. Part of me screams yes, we must! But another part says that would be entirely wrong. Forced contraception? How would that work? No checks, no family investigation, anyone can have a child.

Whatever the moral arguments are, the fact remains that some children are born, mistreated and have to go to foster homes or are adopted. The adopted ones, if it works out, are the lucky ones. The worst result is that the ones who are fostered are passed around from one home to another and never arrive at a permanent loving home.  It is tragic, truly tragic.