A 100 years from now?

Last week I went to Manchester for the day to see my son, Daniel. I was early so walked slowly towards our meeting place, just past The Arndale Centre. Some call it The Triangle, which is about right, given the shape of the area. It was a warm and sunny day - one of the few that I've spent in Manchester when it hasn't rained.



Looking round the packed area, I could not prevent the morbid reflections entering my head. My first thought was - what if there's a bomb? The area is a prime target for so-called Islamic State. Fighting to rid my mind of these possible horrors, I looked around some more. Selfridges, Harvey Nicholls and a huge Next are unmissable - dominating the area. It's a Wednesday lunchtime in summer and yet there are plenty of customers exiting these stores with huge carrier bags. There's money somewhere -  for some. Either that or there's debt. It struck me - what did the British do before shopping? Shops crammed with stuff that many people want but which none of us really need.



Of course most people who were seated in the area, whether alone or with others, were looking at their phones.

Also in the area were plenty of eateries: Sinclair's Oyster Bar, Zizzi, Banyon bar and kitchen, Wahaco, Burrito Bar, Wagamama, Vapiano, Pizza Express, Chiquito, Harvester, Tampopo - Fresh Eastern cooking. The range is dazzling and makes for so much variety. As a student at Manchester University in the 1980s, the choice in eating out was much more limited, which didn't really bother me personally, as I wouldn't have been able to afford it. That said, in those days students were privileged compared to students now, as we had all our tuition fees paid by the Local Authority and I also received a full grant each term as my parents were not well off.



Apart from the Corn Exchange building and an old church down a little side street there was nothing to suggest that the people of a century ago would have walked here. Horses and carriages, some cars now too, long black clothing for women and hats for everyone. Also, a 100 years ago,  raging in France was the Battle of the Somme, in which on a bright sunny day, July 1st 1916, thousands of British young men went over the top of their trenches and were immediately gunned down.



I wondered then, what this densely populated area of one of our major cities will be like in another 100 years. Except maybe for the babies and toddlers in the area, the harsh fact is that all of us will be dead.



What would the people be wearing? What will happen to major names, such as Next, Selfridges and Harvey Nicholls? And the places to eat and drink? What would they be like or would the whole area have changed completely? I wasn't able to ponder these thoughts much more, as I spotted my smiling, waving, 25 year old son walking towards me.

So you think you've got friends? Well, think again.

I've always been interested in friendships and until I read an article recently in The Times newspaper, believed myself to be fortunate in having a good many friends. I'm still in touch with one friend from primary school. As for secondary school, a girls grammar, I went away last November for a weekend with three friends form those days. I also see a friend about four times a year who lives locally and was at my grammar school. University, Manchester by the way, provided me with three of the best friends I ever had. We're meeting at the upcoming Bank Holiday and after our meetings, I always experience a lift, an improvement in outlook and a wish to see them again as soon as we can arrange it.

Through my children's schools I met some people with whom I'm still in touch and through many years of work I have maintained contact with several people. Others, who I have met through my job, I have been very pleased not to have to deal with any more at  all.

However, to return to the article, my faith in friendships has taken a bit of a hit. According to the article, half of our friends don't really like us. To prove this, some kind of complicated experiment and a further complicated survey, have been completed. The results are in and only in 53% of cases do the results coincide. So those who thought with absolute certainty that they were close friends with someone, discovered that in 53% of those named close friends, that degree of friendship was considered to be inaccurate. The names of the people in the experiment were not revealed to the participants - wisely.

So then, should we doubt what we thought were rock solid friendships? It certainly has given me pause for thought. Someone who I got to know recently is forever telling me how wonderful it would be to meet up. This has been going on for months. If I make a suggestion, nailing down a day and time when I am available to meet, I receive a message in response along the lines of not being sure, work being erratic, parents might be coming, they might be going away, the decorators are coming in, but not sure when. And on and on it goes. I'm done. I've made three attempts to organise a meeting and it is now down to the other person. I'm not too worried about this. These things happen. I never considered this person a friend, at least not yet, never mind a close friend.

Now, after having read the article, when I see those who I consider to be good or even close friends, I may well scrutinise what they are saying, study their facial expressions and observe their body language. I wonder if they will notice that I'm doing this and if so, will they ask me what on earth I'm doing? That would be awkward. Will I explain that I'm checking on them for real, true friendship? No. I'll probably just deny it, ask them what they're talking about and then try to behave normally.

Perhaps there will be no need to go through all this. And that is because you know in your heart who a true friend is, one who will defend you, even when you're not there to witness it. Don't you?