It haunts me still...

What I am about to relate is a description of the scene I encountered when on toilet duty at a school in Sheffield in 1983. The school was in a socially disadvantaged area and staff employed at the school were paid extra, for 'daring' to work there. Rumours were rife as to just how bad it was working there - the staff never walked alone, but in pairs and all the pupils carried weapons.

I absolutely loved working at that school, and at the tender age of 24 I had boundless energy and a genuine belief in working the pupils hard- that way they would fulfil their potential. The department I worked in was great too, the Head of Department leading by example, by means of his inspirational teaching, his relationship with the pupils and his high expectations.

So many changes have taken place since the 80s one change  in particular being people's attitudes to smoking. We had a staff smoking room eventually but in the early 1980s teachers would smoke in their staffrooms with no consideration for their non-smoking colleagues. It was just what it was like.

Staff took it in turns at break and dinner times  to check that our pupils were not smoking in the toilets. It wasn't such a bad experience usually and we got a free school meal for our trouble.

One particular lunchtime when I was on duty, I was fretting a little because I had forgotten that I was on duty and I had planned that I would mark the test I'd set the previous lesson, for the class I was due to teach after the lunch break. Accepting that that would be impossible and starting to relax a little, I heard a muffled sound. Just at that point a colleague came up to me telling me that he was concerned about the behaviour of one of my tutor group. I forgot about the muffled sound until my colleague and I had finished our conversation. Then, I heard it again. I decided to wander into the girls' toilets to see if I could find out what the sound was.

There were seven ordinary sized toilets but at the far end was a cubicle about double the size, which also had a sink. I listened carefully but couldn't hear anything, though I was sure someone was in the large cubicle. 'Hello, is everyone alright in here?' I asked. I then heard a rustling sound and what seemed like a squeak. 'Hello! Is everything OK in there?' I heard a shushing sound. Becoming quite irritated now I said, 'Please answer me. What is going on in there?' While this was going on girls were in and out of the toilet. One girl in particular was hanging around, looking at me, checking her reflection in the bit of the mirror that still gave out an image, but seeming extremely tense. 'Miss,' she said, 'have you seen Donna Mayers this dinnertime?' I hadn't but that wasn't unusual. 'Well Miss, you should open that door at the end because I think she's in there and she's in trouble.' I studied her face and she seemed extremely on edge. 'Miss, for Christ's sake, open that door!'

I pushed hard but couldn't move it. The muffled sounds, the shushing and the rustling were getting louder. 'Open this door immediately,' I shouted. Nothing. So, I climbed onto the toilet of the next cubicle and looked over the top. What I saw I will never forget. There was a girl on the floor, Donna Mayers, and at each of her limbs as she lay spreadeagled on the floor, sat another girl. Four girls sitting on one. Their victim had a scarf tied over her mouth and tears were streaming down her face. One girl was holding a pair of scissors and Donna's long thick chestnut coloured hair was lying in chunks on the toilet floor. Another girl had in her hand a pair of tweezers, another a metal nail file and another a purple lipstick which she was smearing all over Donna, while the others jabbed at her with their makeshift weapons.

I remember yelling as loudly as I could for them to stand up immediately. Soon, other members of staff arrived alerted by the girl who was telling me to open the door.

Parents were called in, exclusions were carried out and other suitable punishments administered. Donna, I never saw again. She was fifteen years old when this happened to her and I wonder just how badly this experience has affected her life. She'll be in her mid-forties now. This incident haunts me still and I'm certain it will still haunt Donna.

(NB Donna is not her real name).