Money is no object - according to David Cameron

So, money is no object to a government in such debt that austerity is set to continue for years. What happened then? Where did that money come from? Was David Cameron rummaging around in his back pockets and there he found a few million? 'Hey, Sam, look what I've just found! We'll be able to buy those ponies, yachts and Mulberry bags you had set your heart on. Oh, hang on; there's all this damned flooding going on just outside London, in Datchet and the majority of those people vote for me.Their homes on average cost over half a million, so we had better keep them sweet. And anyway, even though George Gideon keeps saying we're all in this together, we know damn well we're not, so let's get the ponies, yachts and Mulberry bags anyway.'

'Phew!OK Dave - you had me worried there; I thought I might have to wait more than five minutes to get something I want. After all, my needs must exceed everyone else's, and no doubt you'll want me to play the adoring wife come September at conference season again, won't you? And don't forget, that's the last conference speech you'll make to show them what a good guy you are, before the election in 2015.'

'Yes Sam, OK, I know. Do you want me to phone Harrods now for a private shopping session, so at least you can get the bags? It'll be better than having to wait until tomorrow.'

'Ooh yes, thank you Davey darling. Won't be long!'  

The floods will go, the money will be spent, the houses will be dry again, but there will still be no money for the poor. They will languish, as ever, on hardly any money, even those working sixty hours a week, because as yet, the living wage has not been introduced. A spare room? Move out! I wonder how many spare rooms the queen has and her extended family.

The poor are vilified for their weak educational performance, their wholly irresponsible production of children, their unhealthy eating habits, their swearing, their smoking, their drug taking, their drinking their lack of hygiene and their general fecklessness. What hope for them?